During our long, snowed-in week, I've developed an obsession. I spend really long stretches of time staring at Razz and Honey through my kitchen sink window. Today, I noticed one of them walking a little strangely as I passed by the window, and then went to the table, picked up my lunch things and moved them to the counter by the sink where I stood to eat my lunch while staring at the goats -- analyzing their every move.
"Mom's staring at the goats again," I hear one of the kids mutter from the table (yes, they're still home from school -- this ice is apparently never going away).
Because of the weather, we haven't gotten out much. I can't even run over to the farm to spend time with the chickens because my van can't traverse the road. So, I've got way. too. much. time. to ponder the goats.
Did Honey's back end look that sloped yesterday? Is Razz slightly more swollen? Have they eaten as much today? Razz's tail seems to be up quite a bit. Could her tendons be loosening?
It is literally an obsession. We'd expected to have babies by now. And, Honey is small, and Razz doesn't seem to be showing at all.
Last year, we had them both blood tested. This confirmed their pregnancies and verified that they were disease-free. Because there was no way they could have contracted the disease we'd checked them for last year, we opted to just trust nature this year rather than have them preg tested.
Clearly, Oreo got the job done with Izzy, but she lost her babies nearly 7 weeks ago. Honey does seem a bit swollen ("But maybe she's just gassy" I wonder, since she's the goat who always burps in my face). Razz just doesn't. And, last year, during her pregnancy Razz looked like a cow.
Of course, part of my obsession is that I just can't wait to experience the miracle of animal birth again and play with those sweet babies. But, there's something else going on this year. The market for my Goat Milk Soaps has exploded. I struggle to keep up with demand. THIS is a great problem. What is not a great problem is that my store of frozen milk that has carried me through the off-milking season has been entirely depleted. No goat babies = no more milk = no more goat milk soap.
And, so, I take up my post by the window. And I obsess. Then, I search Craigslist for milking does. Then, I go back to the window. Are they? Aren't they? And, if they are, how could we have been so off on our projected due dates?
Even in the ridiculous cold, I trudge out through the ice a couple of times a day for a closer look and, like any crazy goat lady would, I ask them yet again to let me in on their little secret. Will we have babies? Or, won't we? But, they just bawl at me and try to eat my coat as I examine their tummies, feeling for tiny baby goat rumps, check them for signs of swelling, and attempt to get my measuring tapes around their bellies.
Thankfully, the kids are back in school today (yes, I realize it's a Saturday. Makeup days are rough.), so maybe I can get back to business as usual and find other things to occupy my time. After all, the babies are either on their way or not, and there's not a single thing that my obsession can do to change that. ;)
